Wednesday, January 21, 2009

For now...


When I created this blog, I made a vow to try and write in it, in average every week. I did my best. Whether it was a story or my observations or thoughts, I had something to say, and I wrote them. Recently I found out that I hadn’t had any posts for about two months. I can make excuses such as I was very busy (and I was, with 4 presentations in November) or I didn’t have enough time (with a trip on the way and thinking about meeting the deadlines; and shopping and packing on the weekends) or I didn’t have an easy access to the internet (which is also true, because back home, having the internet access whenever you want wherever you want, is not such an easy task.).

But deep down I know that these would be excuses. I am at a stage of my life which I’m not happy with myself, with my life plans and specially with my job, and I very much tend to go deep down into myself and get quite.
This could also be simply because I didn’t have such a pleasant trip. Totally different from my last year trip, it was short, very crowded, left everyone not very happy with the plans, and the last week, I got a terrible flu which I haven’t still recovered from.
On the other hand, it’s winter, and a very cold winter here in Canada, with so much snow and the weather around -20C, and the regular winter depression that gets almost every one.
But the truth is, I am not happy. I am happy with my life, and with some of my choices, but I am extremely unhappy specifically with my job and with what I am doing right now. I haven’t used some of the opportunities last year to leave my job, and now I am stuck with it, in an unstable way, and very unhappy.

I don't like to complain and whine all the time, and this is the state in which I am now. So I may not write in “the Alchemist” for some time, hopefully until I can find myself back, and I can find some excitement and happiness back again in my life.
I need health, some insight to show me what I should do, and lots of luck. I hope this is just a transition state and goes away as the cold of the winter always is replaced by the warmth of the spring…Let’s hope, let’s hope…


13 comments:

Hiva said...

Nava joon,
I wish you find what you want. I wish you live your life in the way that makes you very happy. Be on the peak of your talents and abilities and do what makes you feel great..Stay Warm

Daisy said...

I'm sure it will go away. Be patient and hopeful and everything will fall into place.
It'll be sad knowing that you won't write here for a while. I wish you the best and a fast recovery.

Behi said...

I do hope you find your way, the one that makes you not unhappy and as you keep going on that path feel so happy, satisfied and excited that we can read all about those great feelings in here.

Wish you all the best :)

cuckoo said...

Change some of your habits, find some new routines in your life that you enjoy ... in my experience, thinking is an ineffective way of dealing with such issues

there is no right way or such, it is just how you walk the way

never be afraid of getting help when need it, from people close enough whom you can trust

Good luck

Anonymous said...

Oh my dearest Nava
I am also in the same situation as yours; but mine is a little bit more difficult to stand. Yet, I try to survive by writing
and reading; by keeping my mind busy, and that's how I can forget these tough moments I am living in...
Nevertheles, it's your choice. We will all miss you and your nice words and will be looking forward to seeing you here again.
I hope this stage passes quickly and you start writing and being happy again!

Be good and good luck.

Mommy Homeopath: said...

Dearest Nava,
We will be here.....whenever you feel you can come back!

...and I will talk to you later:)

Mommy Homeopath: said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Esfand` said...

Dear Nava...

I think the number of times you repeated 'I'm not Happy' in this post tells a lot .... but at times not being happy for a little time is something good ! .... n I am sure this will bring good n only good... in the form of a change in your life, n isnt that what you need?
specially when one is not happy with their job thats actually something good ... thats the start of an effort to actually do something about it .... n I am glad that you have made even more progress by not just simply being unhappy but by expressing it too ...

dont worry about the flu .. that will go away if it hasn't already... n not such a good trip? well .. you will surely have many more good ones!!!

n about the winter... you know well that 'this shall pass too'...

good luck for your job n everything!! Wish you loads n loads of happiness!!

Daisy said...

Happy Nowruz Nava jan,

I wish you a healthy, happy, and prosperous year too. I hope you come back and continue writing more than before.
We are waiting ;)

Anonymous said...

Noroozet Mobarak Nava jan!

I wish all the best in the new year...

Be happy.

Anonymous said...

Dear Nava,

many thanks for you comment and the birthday wish. I feel truly lucky to find ciber-friends like you. Every time that I used to to read your blog posts, I would see so much similarity in the situation, thoughts and periods of life that we are both in.
I wish you come back to writing soon. I know that you have very good reason to refrain from writing at this point of time, but i hope you come back.

Cheers

Anonymous said...

Nava janam,
Many thanks for your beautiful comment . It brought tear to my eyes and warmed my heart. I am so blessed to have you as a great friend in cyber space, so like minded. Thanks for being there in my darkest moments. Many, many thanks.

Roshanak said...

Isn't it the time for the Alchemist to come back ? :))