Wednesday, January 21, 2009

For now...

When I created this blog, I made a vow to try and write in it, in average every week. I did my best. Whether it was a story or my observations or thoughts, I had something to say, and I wrote them. Recently I found out that I hadn’t had any posts for about two months. I can make excuses such as I was very busy (and I was, with 4 presentations in November) or I didn’t have enough time (with a trip on the way and thinking about meeting the deadlines; and shopping and packing on the weekends) or I didn’t have an easy access to the internet (which is also true, because back home, having the internet access whenever you want wherever you want, is not such an easy task.).

But deep down I know that these would be excuses. I am at a stage of my life which I’m not happy with myself, with my life plans and specially with my job, and I very much tend to go deep down into myself and get quite.
This could also be simply because I didn’t have such a pleasant trip. Totally different from my last year trip, it was short, very crowded, left everyone not very happy with the plans, and the last week, I got a terrible flu which I haven’t still recovered from.
On the other hand, it’s winter, and a very cold winter here in Canada, with so much snow and the weather around -20C, and the regular winter depression that gets almost every one.
But the truth is, I am not happy. I am happy with my life, and with some of my choices, but I am extremely unhappy specifically with my job and with what I am doing right now. I haven’t used some of the opportunities last year to leave my job, and now I am stuck with it, in an unstable way, and very unhappy.

I don't like to complain and whine all the time, and this is the state in which I am now. So I may not write in “the Alchemist” for some time, hopefully until I can find myself back, and I can find some excitement and happiness back again in my life.
I need health, some insight to show me what I should do, and lots of luck. I hope this is just a transition state and goes away as the cold of the winter always is replaced by the warmth of the spring…Let’s hope, let’s hope…